Alive and Well (Sort of)

Well looking back at the date of my last blog post, it's been exactly one month since I last entered anything in here. A lot has happened since then, not necessarily good things, but things none the less.

First off I got my wallet stolen on the way home from school a few weeks ago. As stressing as the situation could be, I felt relatively calm about the whole situation. I made some phone calls, borrowed some cash from friends. After waiting a while, I got my credit card and debit card last week.

During this stretch of downtime, I also had a scary run-in with some robbers. I was convinced that I needed to stay up late one night, finishing watching Army Wives (which by the way is a fantastic show - definitely recommend it). As I was in the bathroom, I heard some people talking, and thought it was my neighbors a few doors down. Then as I went in my room, under the covers, I heard a shrill shrieking of metal and two men covered in bandannas were on my balcony trying to pry my door open.

Thinking as quickly as I could, I grabbed my important documents and raced out the door. I drove all over Sentul (at 3:00 in the morning no-less) to find a security guard that spoke English. No one, absolutely no one knew a lick of English. And my Bahasa, well in short - is lacking. I can understand more than I can speak, and with a fury of tears, it was hard to explain what was happening. I finally ended up at school and drew some pictures to relay the events of the early morning.

Long story really short, my balcony was broken and the robbers luckily didn't get in. But being me, I was freaking out like no one's business. I spent the week at my friend's house (it was during holiday, so a bit more convenient).

I've been a bit worried, even though it's been about 3 weeks. It took me a while to sleep by myself. Thankfully I have some friends that are really patient and willing to stay with me. Now I finally feel comfortable sleeping by myself and even hired a security guard for me personally.

The kids have been up in arms as have the teachers. There has been a lot of political things going on and the kids in my class are a bit unique (there are really no words to explain). The consideration of beating my head against the wall happens multiple times on a daily basis. There are a number of students who have disabilities, and the lack of experienced supporting staff can be overwhelming at times.

Anyway, despite the fact that I'm struggling to keep afloat mentally and emotionally, things are starting to look up. Hey, after all, it is mid-September. I can't believe I've been in school for nearly two months already this academic year!

The highlight of this month has to have come last night. I met up with some missionaries, which our little church/small group supports. They have a ministry in a village called Cihuelet and the women have learned how to quilt. The importance of this is great, because these missionaries are trying to get these women off the street from begging and prostitution. I ordered a quilt from some left over material I had from my new comforter and finally got it last night. It's beautiful and hand sewn. I cannot wait to post pictures. Hopefully I will do so soon.

Over Christmas holiday, all of the expats will be taking handmade things back to the States and sell them to support these women in the village. Doing these handicrafts keeps them off the street, have a steady income, and allow them to be introduced to Christ. It's such an amazing ministry. To those of you who actually read this blog, pass along this information. I would like to take many handicrafts home to sell and support this ministry because it is vital. And without this income for the women and these missionaries, it would be a lost cause.

These missionaries (who I will not name airing on the side of caution) have a dangerous job because openly evangelizing Indonesians to other Indonesians is quite an unacceptable/intolerable thing to do. There are serious consequences that can result in the identification of their ministry.

Anyway, that's really about it. Sorry for the long period between updates. I will try to keep it on a weekly basis rather than a monthly one. Thanks for your prayers and concerns.

Just Another Week In Paradise

Ever have one of those days where everything goes wrong? Of course you have, everyone has. However, I had one of those days that stretched into a week that everything goes wrong. I had a few breakdowns - most of them were justifiable. However that seems to be the regular norm.

I've been trying to have a positive attitude and pray about it. This week I read through Psalms and I was really encouraged. It seemed to uplift me, even when I felt like I was drowning in disparity. And of course, I cannot withhold thanks from my parents and grandparents - they are a solid foundation of support. They always find something encouraging to say to me, even when I'm at my lowest. I thank God for them everyday that he has put them in my life. How blessed am I. The four wisest people I know are my pillars of strength.

Anyway, as I think back on the week, I honestly cannot remember anything that happened. I feel like time blurs together and I get amnesia. Perhaps its better that way. However, I distinctly remember Friday. If you were in my classroom, you'd remember too. It was a war zone. The students were at each other's throats. In a nutshell, here's what happened.

• Two of the girls started a rumor that another one of my student's had fleas. There was lots of tears and arguments over that.
• Every time I started a lesson, one of my boys busted out (multiple times) in the chicken dance - which threw off every lesson I had.
• Two boys were wrestling for fun during break time and it turned into a fist fight. A third boy thought he accidentally started the fight (which is strange) and so he hid and we searched all over school for a half hour to find him.
• One boy decided it would be funny to pull chairs out from people while they were attempting to sit - resulting in many crying kids.
• An email was sent informing us that in two hours a document was due (two hours when I had to teach). The document was given to me a half hour AFTER I got the email.
• On a dare, one of my boys ate a whole piece of paper. He thought it was tasty and so I had to stop him from eating every piece of paper in sight. That same boy was mad that I took away all his paper so he spit on a girl's poster.
• One of my boys drew "boy parts" and "girl parts" on his picture and proceeded to explain (in explicit detail) to one of the girls (who happens to be a staff kid) what they meant and did.

Oh yes, it was a LOVELY day! As I think back on it all, I can't help but laugh. At the time, I wasn't laughing. Oh no, the kids saw the wrath of Ms. Marie - several times.

But Friday ended on a positive note. One of my struggling students had worked so hard. He was dedicated to everything he started (which is VERY unlike him). I'm usually chasing him down and making new copies for him. He has a rough home life - really rough. Starting last Monday, I decided I'd make him my personal project this year. He is quite neglected by his parents, and so I want to show him as much teacherly and motherly love as possible. He needs it, he just feels so worthless much of the time. Anyway, he was dedicated to everything he did and finished it. At the end of the day, when all the kids had gone home, I gave him this huge sticker that says "Stellar Student" and told him I've never been more proud of him than this week. He lit up like a string of Christmas lights. He started crying and said, "Ms. Marie, no one's ever told me they were proud of me before. I wish someone at home would tell me that." Then he gave me a big hug and ran out. It melted my heart.

Even despite the fact that my week seemed to be going to hell in a handbag, Nathan was my saving grace. Even if I have the worst year ever of teaching, if I can reach out to him and be successful, I will have had a productive year.

As this weekend comes to a close, I find excitement that Idul Fitri holiday is just around the corner - less than two weeks. I've never needed a holiday more than right now - and school just started! So from now until then, I'll take one day at a time (one hour at a time - if needed). I'll make it to the finish line. I have to, I must!

A Swing Towards Positive

It's been a little over a week and things are starting to look up. It was a rough start to this new academic year. I felt like I was drowning and everyone/everything seemed to beat me over the head. I am so thankful for my grandparents and my mother for getting me through this rough patch. Through their prayers and encouragement, I was finally able to get a new perspective and a burden lifted. God has been so good this past week.

My grandpa sent me an email with the verse Philippians 4:13. I'm sure most of you are familiar with this verse and know it by heart. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It seems like such an simple verse, but I have definitely taken it for granted.

I woke up every morning and recited the verse. I can do anything - anything, when Christ is by my side.

Things in the classroom and with administration seemed to cool down and I felt as if I could finally set out for what I yearned for - to teach and be fully devoted to my students and coworkers.

This week I started (and finished) a book called "Tuesdays With Morrie." It's a fantastic book, and for all of you who have never read it - this is a must read. It's a book that tells about a dying professor who has Lou Gehrig's disease. He is reunited with one of his former students and they meet every week to talk about life and the issues they face. There were two particular things that struck me, and have resonated in my ears all week.

The first thing Morrie talked about was how it is important to limit self-pity. Set aside a small bit of time, if needed - but when your reflecting is done, don't turn back to it. Self-pity only brings you down and there's really nothing you can do, especially when change/outcome is inevitable. You cannot spend your life in mourning, but rather approach it with joy and exuberance.

The next thing that he said was "You learn to live when you learn to die." Death is something that we know will eventually happen to all of us - but at the same time, we take life for granted. Morrie talks about how, if you consider this may be your last day on earth, you will do things differently. If you are a teacher - you will teach differently, knowing that it may be your last chance to make an impact on your students. Earthly things don't mean anything, but relationships with God, your family, friends, and even strangers are what bring importance to your life.

The last few days, before I drove to school, I said to myself: "If today was my last day - what would I do differently." As I dwell on this throughout the day, I find myself more patient, smiley, and upbeat. When God calls me home (and that may be tonight, tomorrow, next month, next year, or even in decades from now), I don't want to have taken my last day for granted. I want to go out with a bang - imprinting my passion and love to all who I interact with (even to those extra-grace required people, as my mom would put it).

Anyway, with the support from my family, countless prayers, and an insight from this book, I pushed the "restart" button for my year. I want this year to be memorable and joyous like the previous one. And it is only through Christ who gives me strength, that I will be able to do so.

A Year of Challenges

A lot of things have changed at SPH since last year. Sometimes I wonder how such drastic changes could happen so quickly (and frequently). It seems that every day a new problem springs a surprise attack. To be honest, it's difficult to be positive.

We have re-accreditation and so to impress our examiners, we are implementing numerous things that should have been implemented all along. In short, this has put a strain on many of the teachers, including myself.

In Grade 6 there are a total of 9 teachers, all teaching different subjects. To collaborate with all of them and then in smaller groups (which are divided among disciplines) is more than a challenge. Then to find time to plan and collaborate with all the teachers in my Grade 3 students is even more challenging. Any free time that I am allotted is devoted to one grade or another. By the time I get a chance to plan for the next day, the school day is well over. I'm not used to going on a day-by-day basis, I would rather plan the whole week, but there just isn't even time.

On top of that, I have a number of challenging students (academically and behaviorally) in my class of 20 students. Some have difficult learning disabilities. However, learning disabilities are dealt with differently in Indonesia than in the States. No action is taken unless the disability consists of disfigurement. So to teach my students, assist with those with disabilities that I can amateurly identify the symptoms to, and keep my higher level students from becoming bored is a lot for my plate.

Of course all of these things take place during the school day. After school I am co-directer to "Christmas Carol" (the musical) for middle school, head-director to "Reason for the Season" for elementary students, recruited onto two accreditation teams, and an after school tutoring session with one of my students.

It's stressful thinking about what each hour might bring, let alone an entire day. I feel as if there is a severe unbalance and truth be told - there is. I know that I can get it all done, but I feel like my sanity is dropping to a new low.

Please pray that this year runs smoothly. It's only day 2 of the official academic year and I'm ready for another summer vacation!

The second year of school has officially commenced. Although the kids do not come until Tuesday, I have been back for two days now. To be honest, I've come home both days exhausted and ready for bed around seven. I don't know why, all I've been doing is sitting through hours upon hours of mind-numbing meetings.

I've never really minded meetings, but when they are led in a condescending fashion and about things that have already been talked to death, I find myself rapidly losing my intelligence. It's like it melts away and craziness reigns in place of it.

Tomorrow is the last day of these types of meetings, and I'm counting down the hours. I'm ready for the kids to be back and this nonsense to end. Then tomorrow night we have a mandatory dinner that all the teachers have to attend for the families of new students. We officially have 91 new students (but they count the incoming grade 7's, who have been at the school for many years already - I guess they see it as an initiation of sorts). So excluding the grade 7's, we have about 70 new students to the school (K - 10). I think that's pretty impressive.

Although I'm only 2 days into being back, I miss the long summer days I had. Summer seems so short here (and in truth, it certainly is). I feel like I could have done so many more things, and yet, I feel that I accomplished everything I had as goals. And though I miss my family, I feel like I'm settled and better adjusted than before. Seeing all the staff again made me realize how much of a family we truly are. Despite the political garbage that tends to go on, I love these people as if they have adopted me.

Well, I'm off to bed. Till next time...

The Start of a New (Academic) Year

Hello friends,

It's been a few weeks since I last posted. I have enjoyed my (short) summer holiday. I'm excited for the new academic year to commence in a week and a half, and yet dreading it. The idea of having to wake up before nine-thirty in the morning makes me want to cry. But in any case, I will do it with a smile on my face.

My summer was very relaxing. Just what I needed.

The first week of my break I spent packing up my house in BGH. Just for the record, there is absolutely no reason for one person to have more than 2 bedrooms in a house. I don't know how those bachelor/ette millionaires do it. Honestly, what else do you really need besides the basic essentials?

After getting everything packed, I realized that I have accumulated a ton of stuff since being here. Lots of furniture, new clothes, housing decorations...wowza! Then on a Monday morning the following week, some of the office boys, my neighbors, and a few teachers helped me move and unpack. It was helpful to have so many hands to assist me. I probably would still be unpacking if I had to do it alone.

The remainder of my break was spent working on my novel, catching up on some beloved tv shows (if you have not seen the new remake of Hawaii Five-O series - you need to....there are literally no words to describe how amazing that show is), swimming, decorating my house, and working on preparing my classroom. A teacher's job is never done - even during vacation. However, I don't seem to mind - especially with the stress-free environment.

Yesterday (Tuesday) evening, I went to the airport to meet one of the new expatriate teachers. Let me tell you, it was definitely an experience. The school driver brought me to the airport and I had to find a girl - whom I've never met or seen a picture of OR have a sign. Definitely problematic. So I started to single out the people who were traveling alone, white, and had a lot of luggage. Low and behold, I found her. Thank goodness....I would have been in serious trouble if I would have come back without her.

The remainder of this week is dedicated to helping the new teachers shop and get adjusted to the Indonesian lifestyle. I feel like I am an encyclopedia of information sometimes. A few days ago I was not looking forward to spending the last weeks of my summer helping new teachers, but then I realized that I was so thankful when others did that for me. I would have probably lost my mind without help and guidance of other teachers. And now that it's already begun, it's actually quite enjoyable.

Aside from that, I'm trying to get back to a "normal" sleep schedule (yes, the one where I wake at the crack of dawn) so I'm not a walking zombie on the first day of school.

Thanks for all prayers and patience in my blog writing.

Until next time....

1st Year of Teaching:Complete

As I sit here typing this,I am officially on summer break, and have been for a few days now. It's crazy to think that my first year of teaching is over. It went by so fast, but it was such a joy. I've accomplished many things both personally and professionally. I look forward to the next year that will commence in a little over a month.

The end of the year went out with a bang. We celebrated with my class at one of our student's house. It was her "afternoon house" which basically is a big play land until her parents pick her up and bring her to Jakarta for the night. The house was massive and had a huge swimming pool. We had a picnic lunch and swam most of the day.

It was sad to say goodbye to my students, knowing that I probably won't teach them again, unless I stay in Grade 6 English. However, as sad as I am, I cannot wait for the new batch of Grade 3 students to come into my class next year. There will be a lot of changes, some I am excited about, some -- not so much. But you live and learn with each year that passes.

After two days of meetings and "goodbye ceremonies," the teachers were finally finished with their school year. There was a lot of celebrations, mostly over dinner or breakfast. It was great to have fellowship and laugh about all the things that happened over the year.

This week, my first official week of summer vacation, we focused on the expats that are finished with their contracts and leaving the country. It's always difficult to say goodbye, especially when the people who are leaving are not just co-workers but your friends and family.

Last night we had dinner, and this morning we had breakfast together. It was simple but so fun. But I am quite excited for the new expats who are coming in next year. I think they will make great additions to our community.

On another note, I'd like to thank all of you who have been praying and supporting me through this experience. It would not be possible without you! I look forward to spending another year with you via blog!

With that being said, I am going to proceed and tell you all that I am taking an extended hiatus from writing until school starts up again. As most of you know I am moving and in the process of finishing my novel. I only have 6 weeks to do it all, and I want to make sure I am completely focused on finishing these two things.

Have a great summer! Catch up with you at the end of July! Much love to you all!