Exhaustion Is My Biggest Enemy

What a trying week it has been. Can't say it's been one of my better weeks. But then again, they all can't be gleaming with rockets red glare and laughters that reach the mountain peaks. I've been trying to extract every ounce of energy, patience, and creativity I have left and devote it to my kids, but to be honest, it's like trying to squeeze juice out of a dried up fruit.

The kids have been good sports though. I have to give them a lot of credit. With all the natural disasters that have this country up in arms, Dini being in her accident, and crazy incidents that happen in the classroom - they have shown a lot of patience and bravery. Sometimes they seem too grown up for Grade 3 and Grade 6 students.

It's hard to get through a day this week without being dead tired by nine in the morning. Most of my co-workers and friends are in the same boat as I am: plagued by drooping eyes, black circles under the eyes, and utter exhaustion. We have taken turns helping out in Grade 5 until the substitute starts, and made several rounds to Jakarta to visit Dini in the hospital. Let me just say, going to Jakarta has been a test in patience. With all the flooding and traffic, a round trip (travel time alone) takes 5 - 6 hours, when it should 2 - 3.

Tomorrow is Friday. Usually on Fridays I think, "how did this week fly by?" This week however, I am think "This was the longest week of my life and it's only Friday!" The weekend will be something all of us need.

As I look over this emotionally draining week, I realize that this has probably been one of my low points here and it can only get better. In my mind, there's a celebration going on (although a very wary and sleepy one at that) because I pressed on and didn't give up.The administrative staff here has been an abundant blessing because they recognize all the teachers are struggling.

Even though this has been a rough week, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have learned so much and bonded with people that I have never had the chance to do so before. When God closes a door, He opens a window. In this case, a window of opportunity. How awesome is that? God is so awesome! Even amidst the pain and suffering, I am still able to find joy.

Gunung Pancar Field Trip

Although there is no update on Dini and lots of rattled nerves about what happened on yesterday's field trip - Grade 3 went on their field trip to Gunung Pancar (Goo-nung Pan-charr). This place was comparable to a local national park that we would find in the States.

The basis of this field trip was to explore the area and find out new things (based on the scientific method). The kids had a blast and I have to say I did too. It was quite relaxing for the most part. The kids found unique plants, insects, and a monumental amount of rocks to climb and slide down.

After exploring the pine wood forests and valleys, we were able to go to some hot springs and unwind. I don't think I've ever felt water so hot - but it definitely was soothing. However there was one problem: we lost Ho Hyun - our Korean kid who speaks no English or Bahasa. It was suffice to say that Budi and I both freaked out (and that's an understatement). We hiked all over the surrounding area searching for him. We would call out his name and all the kids would echo. The kids were convinced we weren't going to find him. That was reassuring - NOT!

After nearly an hour, we found Ho Hyun. You'd never guess where we found him. Sleeping on the floor of the van. Apparently no one saw him and the driver just locked to car, thinking everyone was out. When we brought Ho Hyun back to the hot springs, one of my girls looked at me seriously and said, "I knew he was in the car the whole time. All you had to do was ask!" She didn't think to tell us this when we were looking for him - my goodness. I was so overwhelmed that all I could do was laugh.

Now, all accounted for, we could throughly enjoy the hot springs. There was one designated for men and one for women. All of my girls forgot change of clothes but wanted to swim. I just let them go wild and jump in with all their clothes in. Note to self: never again! When it was time to go, they all stripped and I wrung them out so they weren't a walking waterfall. When I wrung them out, I had them whip them against the stone wall to get every last bit of water out. We met the boys at the car and headed back home.

Aside from some minor "bumps in the road" it was a very successful trip. The kids enjoyed exploring the forest but also relaxing in the hot springs.

The Fearless Chaperones: Pak Haroon, Pak Budi, and Myself

Class Photo : Decked Out and Ready to Explore!

Going Wild in the Women's Hotspring

God Is In Control - Especially When Life Gets Messy

Today started out like any other day, aside from the fact that I have a raging cough and temperature. Putting a smile on my face, I tried my hardest to be my happy self with the kids. It was harder than I thought. Who likes to be happy when they're sick? But the kids realized that I wasn't feeling well and they made an effort to be extra helpful and on their best behavior. Gotta love them. They made it a little easier.

About midway through the morning, we got some bad news. The Grade 5 students and teachers (including one of my best friends here, Dini) were on their way to Jakarta for a field trip and got in a bad accident. A truck tried to pass them and slammed into the passenger side of the van. Windows exploded and kids got glass stuck in their faces and bodies. Most got jolted and whiplashed but Dini got the brunt of the impact.

We didn't hear much more information than that. There were a lot of unanswered questions and fears of Dini's condition. Tears overtook our lessons, even despite being brave for the kids.

Finally this afternoon we got word that she has multiple fractures as well as a broken leg and broken wrist. She was transported to a few different hospitals until arriving at Siloam Hospital in Lippo Karawaci. She was immediately brought into surgery and we haven't heard much except she's heavily sedated and won't be conscious until at least the morning.

It's hard to know that God is in control, especially when hurt and pain hit so close to home. But the fact of the matter is, that HE is in control and he has a special plan for all of us. I feel so blessed to know this and that he keeps us under his care in the good and bad times.

Please keep her in your prayers. We will hear more tomorrow and I will pass on the news to you.

Welcome to the Land Crankiness

Today started off like any other good day should be: a beautiful sunrise, happy neighbors waving friendly hellos, and familiar faces waiting to chat the day away. However, the happy-go-lucky life made a screeching halt the moment I walked into my classroom.

Budi was stressed out and rightly so, seeing that he had to teach all day without a break. My role in the classroom on Wednesdays is to be crowd control. It's my easy day. He informed me that my Korean student's tutor wants to be in the classroom and "help out." My question is how can someone "help out" when they don't even speak the student's native language. The lady spoils him, mostly because of the language barrier. "Oh XXXXXX, (name withdrawn for the privacy of the child) you can't do this, let me do it for you. Oh XXXXXX, you don't want to learn right now, you can go play. Oh XXXXXXX, you want to have a hissy fit, okay. As long as you don't do it where people might trip over you." And this is just the tame version.

After making a small time escape out of the classroom, trying to keep my fresh and happy morning intact, I found out that every single teacher I came across was crabby for some reason or another. Let me tell you, it is really hard to be happy when everyone around you is all doom and gloom.

On top of all the negative attitudes, we got a surprise lesson plan book inspection. Our principal sent Pak Alim, one of the office boys, to collect our books. My lesson plan is my life support, without it I will fall to pieces and die. My memory is not that sharp that I remember every thing I plan for the day (after all, I plan my lessons at least a week in advance. By Friday afternoon my brain goes on a hardcore vacation).

All the teachers recieved their lesson plans book at lunch and were in for a big surprise. No one had positive feedback what so ever. I was told by one teacher to take it with a grain of salt - but when you have nothing but criticism to encourage you - you're screwed. At least Budi and I know we write lesson plans that are effective and help students learn.

All day we had struggles with our Korean student. He kicks and screams when he doesn't get his way. Most times he throws himself on the floor and flails his limbs in all different directions. The kids get so uptight when he does this. They try so hard to play and work with him, but his reception is far from embracing. Nine times out of ten, he usually decks someone or kicks them to the ground. Now, trying to step in his shoes, I would be frustrated too if I couldn't get something across in the only language I knew - but there is absolutely no need to get violent about it.

By the end of the day Budi and I made a "Bang Your Head Here" poster and tacked it up on the backside of the teacher's lounge door. At least it got a laugh out of the office boy. I was about one step away from smashing my head against it.

We all have days like this, it's inevitable. Even when we try to be positive and smiley, it just doesn't do the job and you fall into the trap of a spiral blackhole of crankiness and misery. However, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. There was a verse that popped in my head, but I only could remember one phrase of it. I looked it up and it brought me hope for a renewed tomorrow. Psalm 90:14 "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." This is a verse that should be our stepping stone to starting the day off on the right (and happy) foot.

The Rumor Weed

Do any of you readers remember the story of Larry Boy and the Rumor Weed (Veggietales)? If not, it's easy to figure out what it's about - rumors. Rumors are always interesting when they aren't about you - partly because you aren't sure if they are true or not - so it stirs a lot of discussion.

Apparently my Grade 6 students started a rumor that I was getting married and today I received a letter from one of my parents congratulating me and asking for more details about the wedding. Well that was news to me - and the first time I've heard an outrageous lie of the sorts. I laughed really hard, but then after I though about it for a while, I tried to figure out how that rumor ever got started.

The best thing I could come up with was that someone asked if I was married and I said "not yet." Now just to give you a heads up - in Indonesia when someone asks you that - you are recommended to say "not yet" instead of "no." Why? I have no idea - I just do what I'm told so I'm not socially awkward.

Anyway despite my best efforts to teach through all the questions about my engagement and pending marriage, I have to admit I did not deliver the most effective lesson. In one 30 minute period I got the question "who are you marrying" three times and "what's his name" four times. I wish I had a nice quick sarcastic answer - but even as I sit here I can't think of anything. I'm not a good on-my-toes thinker. Never have been.

I believe I finally clarified the idea that I am not getting married because I don't even have a boyfriend. Then questions started flying about an ideal man. Sure, I ignored them but they kept coming like fastball strikes over home plate.

I told Dini after class what happened and she laughed and laughed. She said it was a "sign" - she thinks everything is a "sign." She's determined to help me find a nice Javanese (not Japanese but Javanese) man.

Well only time will tell in the scheme of God's great plan. And don't worry - if I am getting married - you'll find out in good time.

The Most Relaxing Weekend

I'm sitting on my couch cuddled up with Scamper and watching one of my favorite movies, Father of the Bride (who knows, perhaps I'll make it a marathon of FOB 1 and 2). The scent of cinnamon is tickling my nose and a thunderstorm is rolling by growing more fierce every moment. I love spending my Saturday nights like this! You honestly couldn't ask for a more serene environment.

This weekend I devoted to doing absolutely nothing. Last weekend and this past week was very tiring. Friday night I made dinner - which is a rare occasion because I usually just have apples and yogurt. I caught up on some emails and facebook messages and hung out on youtube before going to bed.

This morning I woke up at eight and laid in bed before getting a phone call from my friend Dini at nine. She wanted to go biking through the non-modernized villages in Sentul and go exploring. Since I had nothing better else to do - I was quick to take up the invitation. We met up at a food stall that is owned by one of SPH's bus drivers. We had fantastic food - rice, green beans, chicken, and jackfruit (which if raw is a sweet fruit and if cooked it is a vegetable - crazy!). It was absolutely delicious! Everything we wanted and for 7.500 (which is about 75 cents).

With our bellies full, we started off on our trip. We drove through many villages and as we passed there was a parade of children waving because the "bule" was travelling through the village. Talk about being a movie star! Their faces were brighter than the sun and their shouts and cheers were heartwarming.

After countless twists and turns, we managed to get get to the outskirts of "modernized" Sentul and headed back to Dini's house. We hydrated ourselves, talked, and watched a bit of tv before heading to Bellanova. We split up and I went to the salon to get my haircut. I tried to explain to the stylist that I wanted my hair trimmed and thinned out. What I ended up with was 2 inches off my hair - however, I got some pretty nice layers. I am still not happy that my hair is 2 inches shorter - especially after struggling to grow it out - but it does look nice.

Dini and I did grocery shopping before parting ways. When I came home I visited my neighbor and well - here I am now - kicking back and relaxing.

Life here is always adventure - but I am beginning to feel that life here is really normal. Sure it's not the everyday bustling midwest - but something that I find myself adapting to and calling my own. To all you readers - don't worry - I will continue to update my blog. I know that you enjoy the crazy happenings of a girl half way across the world doing what she loves most - teaching kids and making friends. Love to you all!

Celebration!

It is now 1:45 and officially every last one of my student-teacher-parent conferences is over! What a long day. It started off like any other normal day. I woke up late (after an earth shattering night of karaoke) and ran around my house like a crazy mad woman making mental notes along the way: buy milk, change the kitty litter, out of toilet paper, REALLY change the kitty litter, don't let the cat out - things like that.

I made it to school five minutes before my first conference. Whoever decided conferences should start at 7:15 in the morning should be smacked (oh wait, that was me). The first three conferences went fine because the kids were not at school yet.

Then came mayhem! When the bell rang and the students came - we had to balance doing devotions, getting them ready for swimming, and two conferences at the same time. As I sit here at the computer trying to figure out what actually happened, I realize I have no clue. This morning was a blur. The conferences weren't but the in between madness seemed to melt into a black hole of forgetfulness.

I learned a number of things about my students. Some of their parents provoke academic competition between their children, some parents openly admit they don't have time for their kids because they have so much to do for themselves, and some parents gifted us the title as "second parents" in the Christian faith (which is because they are Muslim and believe that their child should have the right to choose their faith - not have it forced upon them). Talk about eye-opening experiences one after the other.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I'm going to do for the next two hours. My whole afternoon is free - no meetings or chapel or professional development. We are allowed to take one hour every week and go out for lunch. I may just do that and go home and make myself lunch.