Sunday, January 23, 2011

Operation Destruction of Creepy Crawlies

I hate anything that creeps and crawls - especially when that something creeps and crawls on my floors. I definitely took my Dad's fearlessness for granted when I lived at home because I could just shriek and he'd come (sometimes from a dead sleep) to kill even the most minuscule insect. Now I live on my own and have to deal with all the scary creatures of the world that burglarize my house.

Yesterday there was a ginormous scorpion that greeted me as I was getting a glass of water in the morning. I've learned not to shriek because them my cat (who thinks he's a dog) comes racing down the steps and slides everywhere (because he's bow-legged) and usually gets a nasty counterattack from the teeny beast, even though it's about 1/100 of the size of the cat. Instead I took my handy-dandy art canvas (why I actually have that in my house is even something I am curious about) and smacked the scorpion to smithereens.

Tonight I got a surprise visit from the loathed cockroach that lives in the corner nook behind my bathroom door. I only see him on rare occasions, and every effort to destroy him has been an epic fail. I was convinced that tonight would be the night that I would be able to slay the crunchy leaf-looking villain. With a toilet brush in hand I frantically darted around my basement bathroom trying to crush him. It's harder than it sounds. There are not that many places to turn around in that refrigerator-sized commode. I was one swat away from killing it before it scurried off in retreat to its hideaway. Next time....he will surely die.

I like to be creative with my attempted assassinations of the assailants that try to take over my house. Next time I pick off another creepy crawly, I might even just take a broom and play golf with it in the back yard. Who knows, the iguana that lives in my backyard might like the appetizer!

Yes - it sounds malicious - but don't doubt that you wouldn't do the same thing if you were all alone with no one to do petty disposing of invasive creatures.

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