You Know You're In Indonesia When...

I know many of you will probably never make it to Indonesia in your lifetime. Since I know this is the case for many of my readers, I would like to give you a taste of the intricacies of life in this country. Brace yourself...you may be in for a real surprise.

• Indonesia embraces 5 main religions, however it is a predominantly Muslim country.
  
  
• A mosque's call to prayer is 4-5 times a day, you're lucky if you live far enough away to not get woken by one.
  
  
• Christian communities are not allowed to build their own churches, they must be use an already vacant space.
  
  
• Rupiah is the currency used in this country. Despite the falling of the US dollar, 10,000 rupiah is equivalent to $1.20.
  
  
• There is no such thing as joint bank accounts.
  
  
• The cost of living is significantly lower here, and yet you hear complaints about things being too expensive.
  
  
• When Indonesia was colonized by the Dutch for 300 years, the traffic yielded as it does in the States. However when the British came in for a meager 15 years, traffic flowed in the opposite direction and has continued to stay that way.
  
  
• There are no regulations on car emissions.
  
  
• Ojeks (motorcycle taxis which can squish up to a family of 5) and Ancauts (public minivans which can crush up to 25 people inside) are the main source of public transport.
  
  
• Driving on the shoulder is perfectly acceptable.
  
  
• If the police pull you over, you are left with no choice than to bribe them.
  
  
• When a car accident happens, the bigger car is always at fault no matter what the circumstance.
  
  
• No one gets out of the way of ambulances because typically they only transport dead people.
  
  
• Fruits, vegetables, drinks, and dollar store-like trinkets are sold at every major intersection.
  
  
• Monkeys dancing with broken doll faces is normal street entertainment.
  
  
• For every and any job, there is a uniform. There is no such thing as free-dress.
  
  
• Drivers, Maids, Gardeners, and Nannies play a vital role in most families.
  
  
• Squatee potties and spray hoses are common for most public bathroom: no tissue provided.
  
  
• Tap water is not sanitary, you must either boil it or get a water dispenser.
  
  
• The only hot water provided is for the shower.
  
  
• Despite the fact that you may live alone, there are usually dozens of geckos running across the floor, walls, and ceilings at any given time.
  
  
• It is not uncommon to have a snake, scorpion, or cockroach sneak in under the doorways during a rainstorm.
  
  
• Rain comes down nearly every day.
  
  
• There are 2 seasons in Indonesia: Rainy and Dry. The rainy season provides a steady rain for endless hours every day, the dry season provides a once over heavy rain every few days.
  
  
• Bogor (the next town over) is the Lightning STRIKE-DOWN capital of the world.
  
  
• Doctors offices open at 4pm and close at 9pm, rather than in the morning.
  
  
• Rice is served for all meals of the day.
  
  
• Milk comes in 2 forms: non-refrigerated (which tastes like breast milk) and refrigerated (western 2% milk).
  
  
• Pork is considered unclean to Muslims so most stores do not sell it, most maids will not cook with it.
  
  
• If you find a hair in your food, simply just pull it out and continue eating. There is no complaining or returning of food.
  
  
• There are forks and spoons, but no knives.
  
  
• Many desserts contain cubed jelly.
  
  
• Sausage and most preserved meat is orange.
  
  
• Piracy in entertainment is a huge money maker, you are more likely to find a pirated dvd than a legal one. It's hard to tell the difference when watching them.
  
  
• Spa treatment is not a luxury, it is a necessity. You would think so too if most every means of being pampered was under 8 dollars.
  
  
• 90% of Indonesia's population resides in Jakarta and the island of Bali.
  
  
• The number 4 is an unlucky number. Most buildings are no taller than 3 stories, and if they are, they simply skip over any number that contains the number 4. For instance if you see floor 39 the following floor will be 50.
  
  
• Never trust a hairdresser. You say one inch, they cut four (or more).
  
  
• Staring and pointing at white people is something that most everyone does. You might even find yourself doing it too when you see a white person. (If you're like me, you get territorial - forgetting that you too are white - when you see other white people.)
  
  
• Being white is movie star status, prepare yourself for engaging in countless picture.
  
  
• Racism is very much alive amongst the distinct classes of Indonesians.
  
  
• The sun rises at 6 a.m. and sets at 6 p.m.
  
  
• An average daily temperature is 85 - 90 degrees.
  
  
• After spending 3+ months in Indonesian's tropical climate, your blood is thinned out. If the temperature falls below 80 degrees, you will probably end up breaking out long sleeved shirts and sweatshirts.
  
  
• Bahasa Indonesia is the easiest language to learn. There are almost no grammar rules and everything is phonetic.
  
  
• Basic Bahasa Indonesian skills are helpful, but if all else fails - hand motions communicate most everything else.

I hope you've gained a whole new education about Indonesia. It took me several months to accumulate this list. I'm sure after spending another year here, the list will grow.

Until next time...